HOW TO FIND YOUR MENTOR

When You're Too Busy to Look

We don't have mentors anymore. At least, most of us don't.

There used to be a time when women would sit together. They'd cook pies. They'd talk. They'd share life. They'd pass wisdom down naturally, organically, through relationship.

Now? We're too busy. Our neighbor is running. We're running. Everyone is working, providing, surviving. There's no time to sit on a porch and have a conversation.

And that's created a gap. A mentoring gap. And that gap is affecting our finances, our parenting, our marriage, our mental health, our entire lives.

Misty told me something that hit hard: We've bought into a lie that busyness is a badge of honor. We wear our exhaustion like a sign of importance. We think being busy proves we matter.

But it doesn't. It just proves we're tired.

So the first step in finding a mentor is getting out of victim mentality about your calendar. You're not a victim of busyness. You've allowed yourself to fall into this cultural cycle. You've agreed to be busy. You've agreed that your kids should be doing everything. You've agreed that you should be all things to all people.

That's a choice. And it can be un-chosen.

Once you own that responsibility, the next step is being intentional. Mentorship won't happen by accident. You have to pursue it. You have to think about what a relationship-building strategy looks like for you.

For Misty, it looked like driving an hour a month. For me, it looked like paying for fancy meals. For another woman, it might look like grocery shopping together. For another, it might look like a weekly coffee date.

It doesn't have to be complicated. But it does have to be intentional.

Here's how to find your mentor:

1. Ask yourself: Who do I want to be like? Not in a creepy way. Just—who do you admire? Who has something you want? It could be wisdom. It could be peace. It could be confidence. It could be the way they handle money or marriage or parenting.

2. Identify someone who is further along on that journey than you are. They don't have to be older. They just have to be further along. Maybe they're further along in parenting. Or in business. Or in their faith. Or in their financial freedom.

3. Invite them into relationship. Not to be your mentor (that can sound intimidating). Just to relationship. "I'd love to have coffee with you. Or take a walk. Or go grocery shopping together." Find something natural and low-pressure.

4. Offer value in return. Don't expect to just extract wisdom from someone. Think about what you can offer. Can you clean? Cook? Listen? Encourage? Do admin work? Offer to pay for a meal? Think creatively about bartering.

5. Show up consistently. Mentorship doesn't happen in one coffee date. It happens over time. Over many conversations. Over seasons of life. Show up regularly. Be reliable.

6. Actually implement what you learn. Don't just listen and nod. Take what you learn and use it. Talk about how you applied it. Ask follow-up questions. Show that her time with you is actually changing you.

This is how mentorship works. Not by accident. Not by luck. But by intentional pursuit.

And when you find your mentor, when you invest in that relationship, when you value her time and her wisdom, your entire life will shift. Your finances will shift. Your confidence will shift. Your future will shift.

So stop waiting for mentorship to happen. Go find it. Pursue it. Build it.

Your future self will thank you.

CONNECT WITH MISTY:

LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/mistymhughes/

Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/the_mistyhughes

Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/mistyhughes021/ and https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianmomsinbusinessandministry

YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/@lead-herministries6206

Listen to Mom2Mom Podcast https://mistyhughes.com/category/podcast/

Get your Rhythms Of Renewal Mini-Guide: https://mistyhughes.myflodesk.com/discoverrhythms

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